Au bord de la Méditerranée se trouve un pays en forme de botte dont la capitale s’appelle amoR si on lit son nom à l’envers. Il y a beaucoup de places - qui s’appellent des piazzas - et de restaurants qui vendent des morceaux de pizza. Les gens de partout qu’on peut voir tout partout ne sont pas tellement différents parce qu’ils mangent tous de la pizza sur la piazza.
Dans son centre, il y a le Vatican. Dans le Vatican, il y a une basilique et une piazza. Même si on attend de voir le gars qui travaille là, on ne le verra probablement pas - il est trop occupé avec sa gang de gars - alors c’est toujours bien d’imiter les gens de partout et de s’emporter une pizza sur la piazza.
Il y a un gros stade construit pour plusieurs milliers de personnes, mais même s’il n’est jamais plein, il y a toujours une file d’attente à l’extérieur. Les gens vont être déçus car des spectacles, il n’y en a plus. Avant, les gens étaient assis, mais aujourd’hui, le monde de partout doit rester debout – ça donne faim pour une pizza sur la piazza.
Il y a une rivière qui s’appelle Tevere et tras veut dire de l’autre côté. Alors le quartier de l’autre côté s’appelle Trastevere. C’est logique, mais ça doit être mélangeant d’habiter du côté qui s’appelle de l’autre côté – peut-être qu’on y mange de la piazza sur la pizza.
Les gens de partout se promènent avec un guide de voyage contenant plusieurs images de bâtiments et de sculptures célèbres. Ils cherchent les endroits présentés dans leur guide et quand ils les trouvent, ils les prennent en photo. Dans les guides, il y a bien sûr des images de pizza alors les gens se prennent en photo avec leur pizza sur la piazza.
Si tous les chemins mènent à Rome, il y a un chemin qui arrive d’Éthiopie alors ce n’est pas génial d’appeler les boissons ‘bibites’ et les gelatos des… gelatos. Parce qu’en Éthiopie, on peut se sentir comme un gelato qui se fait manger par les bibites. C’est peut-être comme se sentir comme une pizza qui se fait manger sur la piazza.
Rome n’est pas parfaite parce que la fontaine Trevi n’est pas une piscine. Parce que les taxis ne sont pas des Ferraris. Et parce qu’il pleut souvent aussi. Si je ne savais pas quelle partie de Eat Pray Love prend place en Italie, je pourrais imaginer que c’est Aime Rome entière, Prie dans une des centaines d’églises ou Mange de la pizza sur la piazza.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Sunday, November 28, 2010
The answers to the GREAT QUIZ
Ok... Here are the answers to the great quiz about life the universe and everything... or let’s be more precise and call it the quiz about random stuff... in which the ‘good’ answers can be even more random than the questions themselves...
1. Which of these activities can be done on Sundays? On Sundays, there never was any running water and even though we could still technically use the toilet and there could be some power outages, watching TV is the best answer – so C.
2. Which food did I not get during my stay here? I never got any Indian food but there are a few Indian restaurants – so A.
3. What do I like the least with eating injera? Sharing a meal with other people is something I love to do so eating from the same plate, with my hands and sometimes getting bites from someone else’s hand is perfectly good with me. I only eat from someone else’s hand in Ethiopia though – in case you ever try to feed me. So the answer is D.
4. What do I definitely not want to bring back with me as a souvenir? I guess that you all know that I collect different versions of Le Petit Prince – in different languages. I found the one in Amharic which I think was only published in the last year. I also found a bracelet to replace my ‘senhor do bonfim’ bracelet that finally (!!) fell off... About the baby, maybe it is not just a souvenir but also a real person, but I really wished I could have taken one with me... So the answer is the shiro powder which is the lentil powder that is used to prepare what is probably my least favourite dish in Ethiopia – so B.
5. What is usually not a result of a power outage? Even though when there is no power, we don’t really have light to see what we are doing in the kitchen (the kitchen light never worked anyway), the gas stove still technically works – so D.
6. Order the things that disturbed my sleep from the least annoying to the most annoying. It was not that bad to have to hear the singing coming from the churches at night time. I could also get used to the dogs. The bugs made me slap my face and bang my head in the wall a few times and actually bit me too. The fleas made me scratch all night and until it bled. This is the right order. So A.
7. Which song did I not hear the kids in Debre Sina sing? I think the kids never heard about Lady Gaga. They happen to know the Black Eyed Peas pretty well. K’naan made a song with them and he also sings about Somalia and Ethiopia – so they know him. Bob Marley is Bob Marley but also a famous Rastafarian – a movement in which people worship a former Ethiopian emperor... so A.
8. What product can’t we get on the street in Addis? We can get lottery tickets, fries (they are now everywhere!) and peanuts easily on the street. We can also get oranges and when the people who sell them say that they are sweet, it only means that they are sweeter than lemons. We can get some orange juice in some kind of fancy restaurants but in some places, it is mentioned on the menu that it might not be sweet at all and that it depends on the oranges only and not on the restaurant. Anyway, C.
9. What didn’t happen when the police arrested two guys who wanted to take me to a student party? I did see the police telling the guys to get on the floor before they hit them. Later, the police asked for my passport which I didn’t have and there was obviously a big group of people surrounding us but in no time did I understand the interrogation that went on between the two guys and the police. I didn’t really care so I just left. So A.
10. What have I never been called on the street? 'You' is very common so is 'Mister'. 'Farenji' was more common two years ago and still is in some smaller places but since there are so many of them (foreigners) in Addis, the habeshas (Ethiopians) are not as surprised anymore so they use other words. C.
11. Which of these animals would I like to have as a pet the most? I am not a super big fan of sheep or goats and I would definitely enjoy owning a horse but a donkey would be simpler and more useful. I also think donkeys are beautiful in their way of being calm. C.
12. Based on a true story, what happened to the Ethiopian woman’s kidney? This is a story I heard about the friend of a friend of a friend... This woman went to the hospital and needed a surgery but the doctors saw that she would never be able to pay for it so they took her kidney. B. The story doesn’t tell how she reacted when she woke up and if she feels better now.
13. Order those products that we can buy in supermarkets from the cheapest to the most expensive one. Thanks Ethiopia - the condensed milk was affordable. It cost about 24 birrs. The wine was a little more expensive if you include the deposit for the bottle which is about 30 birrs. There were bags of apples – 5 or 6 – that we could get for about 100 birrs. Finally, a small box (+/- 300 grams) of Special K was something like 150 birrs. So C. If you wonder what it means in Canadian dollars, it depends on the exchange rate so it doesn’t mean that much. In Ethiopian standards, a very poor person would eat in one year the equivalent of the cost of 3 bags of apples or 2 boxes of cereal.
Thank you for your participation! The winner will receive something in the mail!
1. Which of these activities can be done on Sundays? On Sundays, there never was any running water and even though we could still technically use the toilet and there could be some power outages, watching TV is the best answer – so C.
2. Which food did I not get during my stay here? I never got any Indian food but there are a few Indian restaurants – so A.
3. What do I like the least with eating injera? Sharing a meal with other people is something I love to do so eating from the same plate, with my hands and sometimes getting bites from someone else’s hand is perfectly good with me. I only eat from someone else’s hand in Ethiopia though – in case you ever try to feed me. So the answer is D.
4. What do I definitely not want to bring back with me as a souvenir? I guess that you all know that I collect different versions of Le Petit Prince – in different languages. I found the one in Amharic which I think was only published in the last year. I also found a bracelet to replace my ‘senhor do bonfim’ bracelet that finally (!!) fell off... About the baby, maybe it is not just a souvenir but also a real person, but I really wished I could have taken one with me... So the answer is the shiro powder which is the lentil powder that is used to prepare what is probably my least favourite dish in Ethiopia – so B.
5. What is usually not a result of a power outage? Even though when there is no power, we don’t really have light to see what we are doing in the kitchen (the kitchen light never worked anyway), the gas stove still technically works – so D.
6. Order the things that disturbed my sleep from the least annoying to the most annoying. It was not that bad to have to hear the singing coming from the churches at night time. I could also get used to the dogs. The bugs made me slap my face and bang my head in the wall a few times and actually bit me too. The fleas made me scratch all night and until it bled. This is the right order. So A.
7. Which song did I not hear the kids in Debre Sina sing? I think the kids never heard about Lady Gaga. They happen to know the Black Eyed Peas pretty well. K’naan made a song with them and he also sings about Somalia and Ethiopia – so they know him. Bob Marley is Bob Marley but also a famous Rastafarian – a movement in which people worship a former Ethiopian emperor... so A.
8. What product can’t we get on the street in Addis? We can get lottery tickets, fries (they are now everywhere!) and peanuts easily on the street. We can also get oranges and when the people who sell them say that they are sweet, it only means that they are sweeter than lemons. We can get some orange juice in some kind of fancy restaurants but in some places, it is mentioned on the menu that it might not be sweet at all and that it depends on the oranges only and not on the restaurant. Anyway, C.
9. What didn’t happen when the police arrested two guys who wanted to take me to a student party? I did see the police telling the guys to get on the floor before they hit them. Later, the police asked for my passport which I didn’t have and there was obviously a big group of people surrounding us but in no time did I understand the interrogation that went on between the two guys and the police. I didn’t really care so I just left. So A.
10. What have I never been called on the street? 'You' is very common so is 'Mister'. 'Farenji' was more common two years ago and still is in some smaller places but since there are so many of them (foreigners) in Addis, the habeshas (Ethiopians) are not as surprised anymore so they use other words. C.
11. Which of these animals would I like to have as a pet the most? I am not a super big fan of sheep or goats and I would definitely enjoy owning a horse but a donkey would be simpler and more useful. I also think donkeys are beautiful in their way of being calm. C.
12. Based on a true story, what happened to the Ethiopian woman’s kidney? This is a story I heard about the friend of a friend of a friend... This woman went to the hospital and needed a surgery but the doctors saw that she would never be able to pay for it so they took her kidney. B. The story doesn’t tell how she reacted when she woke up and if she feels better now.
13. Order those products that we can buy in supermarkets from the cheapest to the most expensive one. Thanks Ethiopia - the condensed milk was affordable. It cost about 24 birrs. The wine was a little more expensive if you include the deposit for the bottle which is about 30 birrs. There were bags of apples – 5 or 6 – that we could get for about 100 birrs. Finally, a small box (+/- 300 grams) of Special K was something like 150 birrs. So C. If you wonder what it means in Canadian dollars, it depends on the exchange rate so it doesn’t mean that much. In Ethiopian standards, a very poor person would eat in one year the equivalent of the cost of 3 bags of apples or 2 boxes of cereal.
Thank you for your participation! The winner will receive something in the mail!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Here I am somewhere in the center of Rome trying to put my (real) thoughts together about this second trip to Ethiopia – even though I just can’t be totally transparent and my thoughts can never be complete.
I love writing because it is influenced by all kind of factors that only happen at one place at one time. So it’s a rainy evening in Rome – leaves are falling from the trees – it is not cold, not warm either – it smells like autumn. I’m sitting in a church because it’s all my budget allows me.
It’s also apparently the low season for tourism but there are still enough people walking with maps of the city that I don’t have to use mine, I only look at where they have their finger to find my way.
I almost don’t need my camera since everybody is making the exact same pictures. We can’t really be creative with that many people around – so let’s wait in line to reproduce the postcards. This place has so much history though – we can see it wherever we look - even Italians have their travel guide.
So it’s been about a week since I left Ethiopia – with, for the second time, mixed feelings. I love this place – I could love it more – and I would like to spend more time there and to be able to feel completely myself.
Still, as much as I would like to be resistant to everything, I’m not and for the second time, I’d say that Ethiopia won the battle over my body. The cold, the pollution combined to the altitude, the fleas, the food that sometimes was rejected by my body are just a few factors that affected my body and eventually my mind – knowing that both are closely connected. Despite all the potential discomforts, as a foreigner, I had the opportunity to leave if anything went wrong or not as expected. I did change my departure date.
This second time in Ethiopia was very different than the first one. The whole purpose of my presence was different. The focus was different. Overall, it was less emotional but also less frustrating – on many levels. The notion of time was different since there was no defined beginning, middle and end to this stay.
I enjoyed not being constantly supervised and not having people responsible for everything I was doing. I enjoyed feeling free to introduce myself ‘myself’ to other people, to discover this country and this culture in my own way – at my own speed as if for the first time.
Once again though, it was hard to be completely myself as I was trying to be the most culturally sensitive possible. I mean, it’s hard to be the person that some of my friends believe is a good candidate for going to Ethiopia and doing something good. I did observe, listen and adapt to what people saw in me and expected from me. Doing so, there are parts of what I am that I couldn’t express – which is partly caused by the language barrier.
Trying to be culturally sensitive is a very relative task. It’s actually a concept that differs from people to people even though we are all confident that we do it right. To me, answering in the language that the other person used first sounds normal. But to do it better, I sincerely wish I worked more on my Amharic.
When I felt good, I enjoyed listening to this language and guessing what the people were discussing about. When I felt good, the generally loud music on the bus improved my mood and I also often happened to crave for Ethiopian food. I also enjoyed meeting and talking to anyone on the street even the people begging for money. When I wasn’t feeling so good, even though I wish it was different, all those things could potentially bother me. Some days, I felt like I belonged and felt devoted to the poor part of the population and others I could ignore them. I don’t know if I really was culturally sensitive.
There are tons of good things going on in this country as there are also tons of things that would need improvement. I strangely became used to see some horrible things – but isn’t it sometimes the only way to deal with a situation that is not ours? That is not under our power? Still, on this trip, I chose to write a blog that wouldn’t make anyone cry – that would make people see Ethiopia as a place that one can enjoy – this blog was different than the one for the previous trip that turned out to be all negative and depressing... to be forgotten...
I love the Ethiopian people and its culture. What I like the most, as a foreigner, is all the information that is exchanged in the simplest eye contact with someone. Ethiopians are generally calm, warm, welcoming and respectful with foreigners. They also very rarely ask about my profession and/or my studies to define who I am. I guess that they take for granted that as a foreigner, I did have a good education and/or I have a good job and I am wealthy. I choose to like it and to see it as if they looked deeper to see my real identity.
Each contact with each person almost always includes a smile. I choose to see so much humility, goodness, resilience and pride in each person that it makes it very easy to smile back and to really mean it. They make fun of many situations that usually make many people I know (including me) lose patience. Being on a bus and stuck in the traffic is nothing but an opportunity to start a conversation with another passenger or with another driver.
The library project didn’t go as expected but it is certainly still alive. I didn’t get all the help I needed and I didn’t meet with all the people I wanted but I definitely got some updated information about the whole situation of the four schools that are now involved in the project. I am also deeply convinced that this project, when realised, will make a positive difference in many people’s life. I just have to keep working on it with my colleagues.
I will let Bob Geldof finish this entry for me: Ethiopia is a country like the continent of Africa itself, in an historic flux... A crossroads between the past and the future. Its old insurmountable problems of climate, geography and politics remain, but in the 20 years since the world first took notice of this beautiful country and its terrible plights, some things may look the same but have, in fact, vastly improved. For me, Africa isn’t a poor continent. It is vastly wealthy with its natural resources and creativity and it will be this that is the spur to their wealth and development and with that wealth they can produce their own education and health. And that, in turn will allow them to compete equally on the world stage – which is where a country as romantic and timeless and beautiful as Ethiopia deserves to be, and where we need it. I love this magnificent country and I wish I could be there in 50 years to see its exceptional people healthy and laughing, and free to live the life they deserve – on this luminous continent.
I love writing because it is influenced by all kind of factors that only happen at one place at one time. So it’s a rainy evening in Rome – leaves are falling from the trees – it is not cold, not warm either – it smells like autumn. I’m sitting in a church because it’s all my budget allows me.
It’s also apparently the low season for tourism but there are still enough people walking with maps of the city that I don’t have to use mine, I only look at where they have their finger to find my way.
I almost don’t need my camera since everybody is making the exact same pictures. We can’t really be creative with that many people around – so let’s wait in line to reproduce the postcards. This place has so much history though – we can see it wherever we look - even Italians have their travel guide.
So it’s been about a week since I left Ethiopia – with, for the second time, mixed feelings. I love this place – I could love it more – and I would like to spend more time there and to be able to feel completely myself.
Still, as much as I would like to be resistant to everything, I’m not and for the second time, I’d say that Ethiopia won the battle over my body. The cold, the pollution combined to the altitude, the fleas, the food that sometimes was rejected by my body are just a few factors that affected my body and eventually my mind – knowing that both are closely connected. Despite all the potential discomforts, as a foreigner, I had the opportunity to leave if anything went wrong or not as expected. I did change my departure date.
This second time in Ethiopia was very different than the first one. The whole purpose of my presence was different. The focus was different. Overall, it was less emotional but also less frustrating – on many levels. The notion of time was different since there was no defined beginning, middle and end to this stay.
I enjoyed not being constantly supervised and not having people responsible for everything I was doing. I enjoyed feeling free to introduce myself ‘myself’ to other people, to discover this country and this culture in my own way – at my own speed as if for the first time.
Once again though, it was hard to be completely myself as I was trying to be the most culturally sensitive possible. I mean, it’s hard to be the person that some of my friends believe is a good candidate for going to Ethiopia and doing something good. I did observe, listen and adapt to what people saw in me and expected from me. Doing so, there are parts of what I am that I couldn’t express – which is partly caused by the language barrier.
Trying to be culturally sensitive is a very relative task. It’s actually a concept that differs from people to people even though we are all confident that we do it right. To me, answering in the language that the other person used first sounds normal. But to do it better, I sincerely wish I worked more on my Amharic.
When I felt good, I enjoyed listening to this language and guessing what the people were discussing about. When I felt good, the generally loud music on the bus improved my mood and I also often happened to crave for Ethiopian food. I also enjoyed meeting and talking to anyone on the street even the people begging for money. When I wasn’t feeling so good, even though I wish it was different, all those things could potentially bother me. Some days, I felt like I belonged and felt devoted to the poor part of the population and others I could ignore them. I don’t know if I really was culturally sensitive.
There are tons of good things going on in this country as there are also tons of things that would need improvement. I strangely became used to see some horrible things – but isn’t it sometimes the only way to deal with a situation that is not ours? That is not under our power? Still, on this trip, I chose to write a blog that wouldn’t make anyone cry – that would make people see Ethiopia as a place that one can enjoy – this blog was different than the one for the previous trip that turned out to be all negative and depressing... to be forgotten...
I love the Ethiopian people and its culture. What I like the most, as a foreigner, is all the information that is exchanged in the simplest eye contact with someone. Ethiopians are generally calm, warm, welcoming and respectful with foreigners. They also very rarely ask about my profession and/or my studies to define who I am. I guess that they take for granted that as a foreigner, I did have a good education and/or I have a good job and I am wealthy. I choose to like it and to see it as if they looked deeper to see my real identity.
Each contact with each person almost always includes a smile. I choose to see so much humility, goodness, resilience and pride in each person that it makes it very easy to smile back and to really mean it. They make fun of many situations that usually make many people I know (including me) lose patience. Being on a bus and stuck in the traffic is nothing but an opportunity to start a conversation with another passenger or with another driver.
The library project didn’t go as expected but it is certainly still alive. I didn’t get all the help I needed and I didn’t meet with all the people I wanted but I definitely got some updated information about the whole situation of the four schools that are now involved in the project. I am also deeply convinced that this project, when realised, will make a positive difference in many people’s life. I just have to keep working on it with my colleagues.
I will let Bob Geldof finish this entry for me: Ethiopia is a country like the continent of Africa itself, in an historic flux... A crossroads between the past and the future. Its old insurmountable problems of climate, geography and politics remain, but in the 20 years since the world first took notice of this beautiful country and its terrible plights, some things may look the same but have, in fact, vastly improved. For me, Africa isn’t a poor continent. It is vastly wealthy with its natural resources and creativity and it will be this that is the spur to their wealth and development and with that wealth they can produce their own education and health. And that, in turn will allow them to compete equally on the world stage – which is where a country as romantic and timeless and beautiful as Ethiopia deserves to be, and where we need it. I love this magnificent country and I wish I could be there in 50 years to see its exceptional people healthy and laughing, and free to live the life they deserve – on this luminous continent.
Friday, November 5, 2010
What’s wrong with the cardamom?
In this blog, there are questions that won’t be answered... Still, I can tell you the answer to the great question of life, the universe and everything... but what’s wrong with the cardamom? I have no idea! The answer to the great question of life, the universe and everything is... Yes...! is... Yes...! is... forty-two... This is what Deep Thought found out after a few million years of great deep thinking... Then you might wonder what the question exactly was... Something like What do you get if you multiply six by seven? But this wouldn’t make you happy... I’ll let you think of what the great question can be... or you could read The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy.
Meanwhile, the cardamom stinks. And there are a few other things that are going wrong in this PERFECT trip. And unfortunately ‘two wrongs don’t make it right’... In case you think I’m complaining, I would ask you to notice the word PERFECT – one sentence above - in bold and capital letters as the main indication of how this whole thing is really seriously unsarcastically honestly sincerely truly nokiddingly going.
What went wrong with my flights?
First of all, everything went way too fast... at the beginning... I didn’t really take the necessary time to think of what I should bring... Leaving for Ethiopia when it’s summer in Montreal – even if I had already been there before – at the same time of the year and what I remember is that I was a white Mr. Freeze – the one with the mystery cream soda flavour - makes you expect nice weather or makes you think that you will stand the cold and the rain and actually enjoy it.
Second of all, having missed my flight to Brasil because of the extreme security to cross the American border (even though I am American and Mexicans are also American and there is South, Central and North America and we are all American, you know what I mean) made me think I should get there early... but this time, strangely, it went way too fast... It took less than one hour and a half from my place to the gate – during which I walked to the metro station, got off at Berri, caught the bus 747, arrived at the airport, registered my luggage, passed the security, passed the border – where the questions were Where are you going? – Rome. What for? – Tourism. No mention of the visa that is – in theory – required to enter Italy. I had booked two separate flights.
So I had a lot of time to waste during which I did something really interesting. I fell asleep for a few minutes on my chair and when I woke up, I wanted to go to the washroom. Suspense. I got up to start to walk – still half asleep slash dreaming – and I began to feel that the floor was going down – as if I was in an elevator. Then my knees met the floor – they said Hi! The floor said Hi! They met, they kissed and then I realised in what position I was – lying on the floor in front of other people. You should definitely try it! But one thing I think is important is that in your sleep, you cut all blood circulation to your legs.
So (yawn) I got on the first plane and then got off. (Yawn) I got on the second plane in Chicago. I got off in Frankfurt. I got on a third plane (yaaaaaaaaawn) and got off in Rome. I picked up my luggage then put a foot outside so I can say that I’ve been there (because sometimes some people don’t consider having been in an airport like having been in a country. Then I went to Mc Donald’s for a delicious Big Mac. I have no defense. Then I registered my luggage again and got on a plane to Cairo. There, everything was red. Even the sun. The sand was red. The airport was red too. So this makes me say that Egypt is red. I guess my eyes were red too.
I went down the plane, walked to a shuttle bus and I arrived in the airport right as the sun had set and everybody started to eat as if they had not eaten since the sunrise. I went on my last plane – the one to Addis where I arrived, met with Aliez and went to bed at around 7am which is actually 1 in Ethiopia but it didn’t mean anything anymore. So if I set my watch to farenji time, it’s like Europe time and if I set it habesha time, I know what time it is in America.
So what is wrong about all this is that one day, I tell myself: ‘Hum... It’s been (choose a number) week(add ‘s’ if you picked 2 or more) since I left Montreal and it is only the third day I can tell myself: ‘Hum... It’s been (copy the number) week(and ‘s’ if you picked 2 or more) since I arrived in Ethiopia. Got it? In case you don’t, this trip was L-O-N-G. Got it now? Ok... let’s say I left on Thursday morning and I arrived on Saturday morning. Got it?
What went wrong with the books?
I brought about one ton of books here. For the teachers of the Preparatory School of Debre Sina. I had looked for them for hours in a book store in Montreal with the efficient help of some employees on each floor who all referred me to the same guy who eventually knew me like an old friend and who offered to put the books I had already picked in a safe place. Then they disappeared and they reappeared two hours later. This really doesn’t have any importance but you didn’t know until you got to this last sentence.
What’s wrong with the crazy German guy (except the fact that he is crazy but not really)?
I spent the first four days or so at Taitu Hotel which is the oldest hotel in town. But solid. Fortunately. Because there was a crazy German guy running up and down the hall at crazy hours. Everything was shaking – because of his steps but also because of his voice. I have to admit that he was as friendly as crazy. Just the type of guy who immerses himself (too much) in the culture – like who is willing to try anything and nonetheless - everything.
We were not too sad to leave the hotel for this reason and for other reasons – like I (almost) couldn’t open the door of my room because the bed was right behind it – What was wrong with this door-bed?
This German guy is the kind of guy you are not surprised to meet randomly again and again – even if Addis is a huge city with millions of people. So it happened and then we saw people waiting in line to attend a dancing / singing competition at the national lottery building... We went to see what it was and obviously were treated very well and warmly invited to get in and to have a seat – as we realized that it was the set up for Ethiopian Idol... and that we were sitting right beside the judges – among very fancy dressed participants.
Everything would have been fine if at some point they hadn’t put the camera right in my not very shaved face and my not very clean nor fancy clothes with the spotlight so I started sweating – as I pretended to enjoy the singing and the judges’ comments... I also practiced my reflexes (reflexes are my biggest strength... mouahahahahah) – so I clapped at the same time than the other people. This is one moment when I would have enjoyed having this yellow fish in my ear to understand what the people were saying...
What’s wrong with my dreams?
The first time I came, I remember having had a very light sleep and waking up with the impression of having dreamed all night - almost every night. Having had strange dreams. That can’t be explained. Or that come from parts of my brain that even subconsciousness never visited. I blamed the malaria pills for it because every second weekend or so, we would go for a few hours in the little city next to Debre Sina down the mountain where there is malaria. And I had to take pills for nine days total only for one afternoon. It is really crazy when I think of it because each malarone pill cost about 5$ - so 45$ total - when the whole trip – including a meal - cost half the price of one pill. This is not the point though and the situation is back to strange even though I didn’t take a single malaria pill since my arrival.
I keep dreaming all the time about the strangest things ever. And because they seem so real and I remember them when I wake up so it kind of becomes real, the next night, my dreams are even weirder and so on. Once, in a dream, a donkey talked to me and told me he had advices to give me. The first one was: If anything happens, just turn your music louder. The second one was: Don’t make fun of a short legged dog. The third one was: Always trust the driver. And the donkey’s voice echoed in my mind until I woke up and I wrote those advices in my writing tablet.
What’s wrong with the color pink?
We found a place to stay. The second we visited. The first one was not furnished even though it had ‘God Bless our Home’ written in big metal letters on the wall protecting the house. The second was furnished, cheaper, no metal letters, no mention of God but was painted in pink. So the exterior is pink and the interior is a mix of white, red, orange, yellow and pink. Cute. I mean, very cute. I feel like Ken living in Barbie’s house. Even though they are divorced. It is not as small nor unpractical as the Barbie plane.
And we have a big garden with tons of kinds of trees, birds and flowers. This part is nice. I said that there were no mention of God – probably because it was really not necessary since we live right next to a church where hundreds of kids gather every Sunday for what it seems – the whole day – singing and praying. Plus, we hear the call for the prayer clearly enough so God and Allah (both or one or the other) could be called our close neighbours. I understood the first advice. When it gets too loud, I turn my music louder.
What’s wrong with the dogs? And with Aliez with the dogs?
We have two dogs. Two little puppies that both appear to be cute at first sight. But NOT. One is fairly normal – caramel – but the other one is white with caramel stains – probably brothers but the first one was luckier than the other one. The second one had legs half the size of the first one. This was weird enough – but Aliez decided to give them names – Bob and Sally.
I have no idea what it refers to but Sally sounds like a girl’s name and the two dogs are males. Fortunately – everything can’t go wrong – Sally is the dog that Aliez likes – the weird one and Bob is mine. So Aliez is all very excited when we come home and they are there waiting for us. I actually like to see Bob subtlety reminding Sally of her defect when he walks over ‘her’. Aliez thinks it is affection. There is one other detail – Aliez speaks to the dogs in Italian.
This could be enough stories about dogs but one of our neighbours let his dog outside at night time and this dog cries very loudly – but not like a real dog. This dog cries like a mad – devil possessed - baby. So I turn my music louder. This situation makes me think of the second advice. But why shouldn’t I be making fun of a short legged dog?
What’s wrong with the water and the light?
Our house is great. All equipped. Toilet, shower, electricity, gas for cooking, TV, cable with tons of channels in Arabic from all the middle-eastern countries and more. The thing is that the lights worked for the first few days but then stopped working. We still have power. To recharge our batteries for our headlamps. So we are two little Chilean miners living in a house. Ken the Chilean miner and Barbie the Chilean miner. Aliez reminds me that it is not wise to look in the toilet bowl with the headlamp. Enough said. Especially when the water is not running.
If you also remember the Snow White movie, you remember the dwarves. We are not only Chilean miners but sometimes we are Chilean dwarf miners. We like to fall in holes. Aliez fell in a pooh hole two years ago in what is now a worldwide very well known extremely funny story. I also enjoy falling in holes. It makes us shorter. Like our dog. The second advice now makes sense.
Even with no electricity and no water, the toilet is still a comfortable place to sit to do our business – but don’t bother to bring a book – the effects of the gases on your brain make you unable to read. When I am the one that is not using it, I remember my dream and I turn my music louder. However, the shower with no water is not useful at all. Don’t bring a book in the shower either – even when there is no water. Some people might think it’s weird.
The shower with no electricity is cold. But there is something even worse than taking a cold shower. It’s beginning to shower with cold water and there is a water outage after getting soapy. Or beginning to shave and the water stops running. And being all soapy and naked and beardy as the sun goes down and it gets even colder – and slipping on the floor and hitting your head and passing out and finally waking up and not understanding what the people are saying around you. But this is normal I guess.
There was also an actual bed in an actual room and a bed (a mattress on the floor) in the living room. I got the exclusivity of the room but after two nights sleeping on this bed, I couldn’t enjoy moving my skeleton nor breathing anymore. I don’t know what it did to me but this bed was looking for a girl. So Aliez and me switched bed / room so I now sleep on the mattress in the living room that only causes a problem when I sleep on my belly because I can’t stretch my legs – I thought for a while that I was taller on my belly but then I realised that sleeping on my left or right side or on my back, I could fold my legs which is harder to do or less comfortable once sleeping on my belly.
So I turn my music on and I don’t hear the banging of my feet on the closet that is at my feet.If the donkey’s advice had been to move my mattress, I would have done it. But I prefer to stick to the advices.
So... What’s wrong with the cardamom?
On our way home one day, Aliez and I stopped in a few stores to get some honey and spices. We bought a glass jar of honey, cinnamon and cardamom. Then we got on a minibus and as I was closing the door, because I had many things in my hands, I accidentally dropped the bag with the honey on the ground and it broke. I took it this way to our place but the glass had made a hole in the cardamom bag. And once at home, I put it in an empty peanut butter jar with the label.
What’s wrong with the food?
There is nothing greater than being in a country that has its own cuisine. Ethiopian cuisine is diversified and tasty. There is one meal that Aliez and I enjoyed the first time we came that is called ba-ya-net. It’s a mix of different mixtures of vegetables (corn, carrots, potatoes, cabbage, spinaches, beets, etc.) and lentils and/or rice. It is served like every other typical meal on injera. The thing is that since there are many options of mixtures – they don’t all need to be there, this is not something that should be hard to find.
The reality is that we’ve been here for now more than three weeks and everytime we asked for some – I don’t think we ever went in the same restaurant twice – there was no ba-ya-net. So viva tibbs, key wat, shiro or tagabino (whichever we ask for, we get the same stuff – even though in my memories tagabino is smashed fried (or fried smashed) red beans and shiro is lentils).
What’s wrong with the other animals?
There was a hit and run on our road. A donkey got hit by a car and stayed there on his left side for days. Then three horses came to mourn him and they keep standing in the middle of the street. Sometimes, they make it easy for the cars, buses and trucks to go around them as they stay close one to another. Some other times, they are far apart so the cars have to go around them carefully. The third advice stated: ‘Always trust the driver’.
I was also called a horse a few days ago by a bunch of boys after I bought a roasted corn on the cob from a super friendly and smiley lady that was roasting and selling them on some street. Those guys told me it was horse food but I don’t think so because horses don’t have money and this woman wouldn’t be doing this for free for horses because actually, on this street, there were no horses.
Corn is fine but may make you exhausted. Because I was standing with Aliez’s heavy backpack on my back, chewing hard for about half an hour and breathing at high altitude made me feel really exhausted and out of breath.
What’s wrong with the rain season that doesn’t want to end?
A little more than a week ago, it was New Year. So we moved into the year 2003. It is also the beginning of the summer. Summer comes after the rain season. The rain season was great. It rained and rained and rained. And it rained again and there were lightning strikes and thunder. Everything. We got wet often and so did our shoes and our never drying clothes hanging to the clothe line. And the noise of the rain on the tin roof that kept me awake but that surpassed the crying dog. Now we are in summer. The thing is that it is still raining – which is why I never go out without a jacket and an umbrella and I never come back home with clean shoes even if there are shoe shiners every ten meters.
Walking here is something different. There are many sidewalks but just not everywhere and between our house and the place where we work there are many portions of the road that have no sidewalk. So option number one is to walk in the street. All drivers seem very good and they can avoid you by a few millimetres. It can be scary sometimes. Sometimes you wish they left a few centimetres between them and you. But then the third advice echoes in the air: ‘Always trust the driver’. So option two is to wike. Wiking is a new verb – a mix of Walking and Hiking. So we can wike. I love wiking but in the mood – in summer – it is not super great.
The other option is to take a bus. Taking a bus last year (our first two weeks here) – in 2002 – was great. Fast and efficient. I don’t think I ever waited for more than one minute to get on a bus. Either a minibus or a bus as we know it. But since school started, it is now a real contact sport to get on a bus and I was shocked to see someone passing in front of me in a space that I considered very small for myself as I was trying to get to the last seat on a minibus. This little motivated woman got it before me and I got kicked out of the bus.
The other option is to get on a bus as it is moving – being careful of not falling and ending up under it – and waiting for the crowd to develop enough energy so even without trying we are lifted from earth and we end up on the bus. Human bodies are very squishable and transportable. It can be very surprising mostly when it’s time to get off but the other passengers don’t mind moving and they expect you to be able to go around them in a one foot wide circulating corridor. It always works though.
What’s wrong with the mosquitoes?
I got many bites from many different kinds of mosquitoes and they are itchy but it’s fine. My question goes to the ones that keep biting my fingers since they become very itchy but they are also the part of my body I usually use to scratch the bites... I then have to do some frotteurism – which might sound as a sexual disorder.
There must be a flea market near our place because there are many everywhere. And if anybody knows anything about those evil creatures, I’d like to know. Except that they strangely bite twice and that their favourite parts of the body are my arms, my waist and some other parts. I guess I should name them before you start imagining anything. They like my ankles. There you go. How can such miniature almost invisible bugs make so much damage?
We also often have some mosquito and/or fly and/or spider killing sessions. So it you are wondering what is wrong with my writing tablet, in case you happened to come to our house while we were not there, it is full of dead things. And when I hear the mosquitoes flying and buzzing close to my ears, I turn my music louder.
So... what’s wrong with the cardamom?
I still have no idea. My only thought is that it turned bad because I put the label in the jar. And maybe the paper or the ink reacted with the cardamom to create a whole new smell / a whole new poison. Maybe the cardamom is allergic to peanuts and it recognized that it was a peanut butter jar.
This weird mix of spice, ink, paper and the memory of peanut butter actually strangely smells exactly like the gin we bought which doesn’t really smell like Gordon’s gin nor Tanqueray nor Bombay Saphire nor Beefeater. It smells and tastes funky but it is not bad. Dissolved in a lot of tonic water – which actually cost more than the gin – it is very good.
There is also something a little wrong about the local white wine that looks more yellow than white. It never makes you drunk enough so you can ignore the headache.
What’s wrong with the road to Debre Sina?
The road we took to Debre Sina is actually nothing compared to what it used to be. The road is new, safe, comfortable. It took less time to get close to Debre Sina. There was only one detail that I was missing – one of the tunnels that take us to this beautiful village is under repairs. It is only open one or two hours a day and unfortunately, we were not in this span of time.
So after feeling like it was now much easier to get there, I completely changed my mind. Also because in the rain season, at this height, it doesn’t really rain for the very simple reason that we are literally in the clouds – and the clouds make the visibility invisible. So for moments, I was half panicking for not being able to see further than the window of the car but having the feeling that we were still moving at almost the same speed on a road that is one car and a half wide and that goes in both directions. ‘Always trust the driver.’
So the alternative road that goes to Debre Sina – that goes down the mountain is mostly a path for pedestrians but that provides the most beautiful views ever. It took us a very long time to finally arrive to Debre Sina where I could meet all the people I wanted before meeting all the kids living close to our compound who decided to throw a dance party in one house.
What’s wrong with Tewodross?
This is the story of a family – a single mom and three sons that we got to know very well the last time we came – and the only reason why we didn’t take them with us is because we couldn’t agree on who would take which one. And their mom could have said no too. I was really looking forward meeting the littlest one – Tewodross – who had turned one two years ago so he would be three by now and able to speak a little and bigger and I was very curious to see how he had turned out. The thing is that he cried when he saw me and after this first unsuccessful meeting, everytime he saw a corner of my face (I have this special power of using only one corner of my face to look at something) he began to cry. Oh well. I gave up for this first visit.
The other thing about Debre Sina is that it changed a lot – so did Addis. Those two cities changed more than I could have ever expected. A very positive change. It is my own perception of course – which could be influenced by the fact that I’m actually feeling more free here in one hour than I did the previous time over three months – and that I’m not focusing on the same things. But what they also have in common – what I experienced in Debre Sina more intensely than in Addis was an electricity outage – so I had absolutely nothing to do at night time – I was all by myself. No water either but the rain and the wind and the thunder. Powerful and beautiful nature at its best.
What’s wrong with Addis Ababa?
This is city is to me almost impossible to figure out. I can go wherever I want because I know what the bus stops are called and this is I guess what matters. The thing is that there are no streets that go straight. The same street on a map can have three different names. There are three problems with this. The first one is that it is hard to memorize. The second one is that there are very very very few street signs. And the third problem is that even if streets have actual names, people use different names to call them.
Still, everybody is always extremely nice and helpful and it’s always interesting to use what we know in Amharic as they enjoy using – with pride - the English words and sentences they know. Besides all this, it is very impressive to see how this city is changing and improving fast. Farenjis actually don’t get as much attention as two years ago as there seems to be more working and visiting the city. The farenjis are mainly the white people and the Chinese people. The word probably derived from ‘French’.
PART II
Never abuse of the word ‘wrong’
Have you ever tried to spit in the air? Or to p** against the wind? Or to throw s*** in a fan? Or to predict something bad would happen and then not knocking on wood? Or to tell as a joke that you were attacked by a wolf until it came true and no one believed you anymore? So you got eaten...? Or to call everything wrong thinking it was funny? Well... if you did, I guess that you know the consequences...
In the last week, a few things turned out bad for real... but not that much because here is the end of the story: Despite of everything that happened, I am here writing about it so I guess it wasn’t that bad. See? Now you can read without worrying too much... I have to admit that I have a small bruise on my forehead and that my bottom is still a little bit sore but those are details...
What’s wrong with visas?
Visas are fine if you get them in your home country – so you can actually apply for the right one and for the right duration. This is exactly what I did – at the Ethiopian embassy in Ottawa – I applied for a three months tourist visa and said that I needed it fast – they told me to be back in about an hour – I picked it up two days later – I paid cash and the employee didn’t even check if I was the right person as he handed it to me.
Imagine an other scenario. You are a Canadian student in Italy and you decide to do your research project to complete your Masters in Ethiopia. The only option you have is to get a tourist visa at the airport in Addis. It usually works. The thing is that for some reasons that I don’t really understand, the visa is good for only one month. So on the same morning I was leaving to Debre Sina, Aliez went to the immigration office to extend her visa until the end of her staying saying that she would join me in Debre Sina two days later.
What’s wrong with only one cellphone for two people?
A few weeks ago, Aliez lost her cellphone. So we had one left for both of us. There is nothing wrong with only one cellphone for two people as long as those two people are at least in the same city. When they are in two different cities, they have a hard time to communicate. So on Thursday afternoon, as I was looking for a place to eat in Debre Sina, I heard people screaming my name... a long chain of people – the first one telling the next person to tell the next person to tell the next person to tell the next person to tell the next person to call me... the first person of the line knew what the exact message was, but the last person obviously had no more idea what the message was and even if I was the right person to call – a cool live telephone game... So I figured that I should walk back to the compound – as I met all the people who had been part of this long chain – cheering for me - and there was a phone call waiting for me. Aliez had finally managed to get a hold of me as she had some news to share with me.
She couldn’t manage to extend her visa so she was left with two options 1) going to jail for a while 2) leaving the country before her visa expired which was this same day. She chose the second option – learning about how a white female is treated in an Ethiopian jail not being a part of her research. She had just booked a flight ticket for Rome and would stay there until next Sunday. I was left without the cellphone which was also our alarm clock. I have to admit it felt strange not to have any technological way to get in touch with other people – but it wasn’t such a big deal in Debre Sina.
What’s wrong with the cold weather?
I don’t know about other Canadians but when some people tell me about how cold our winters are and that they are impressed with the way we cope with them, I kind of think I’m cool. I then picture myself as a happy Inuit living in an igloo or as a happy and hairy polar bear. I feel really cool. But as I said, I don’t know about other Canadians.
When some people wish to come live in Canada but they worry about the cold, I tell them that we only go outside when it’s necessary and that we don’t worry too much about it because we dress properly and that every building is heated. I also like to tell that winter brings the people closer and that there is nothing more romantic than walking outside at night as it gently snows - around Christmas time - as every sound is being absorbed by the snow and as everything looks pure and sparkly.
In reality, the people of Debre Sina are extremely more resistant to the cold than I am. And they don’t even talk about it – it is their cold reality. The great majority of people wear only a shirt, a pair of pants and sandals. Some lucky ones can afford a jacket. (Special thanks to the Toronto Maple Leafs for sucking that much – so the fans don’t buy their stuff or regret having bought some – so many people in Ethiopia – hopefully they don’t know too much about this team – receive and wear Toronto Maple Leafs clothing. This also explains why every time someone asks me where I am from and I say ‘Canada’, they reply right away ‘Toronto’! I sometimes say yes... It makes them happy. Not me.) Many people spend the whole day standing still – selling their exotic fruits, papayas, bananas and/or oranges. They totally ignore the cold.
I have in mind one freezing morning – walking to get some food – walking in a cloud – feeling the wind and the humidity and wishing I was wearing more clothes or that I could find a warm place. Even wearing what I would wear on a cold winter day in Canada, I was cold and felt like talking about it to find some support. But looking around me and seeing the hundreds of people doing the same things as usual, there was no one that would even know what I was talking about. Aliez was probably on her way to Rome – so I had to forget about getting a change of clothes – I was wearing everything I had brought and I had planned to be there for four or five more days.
More problems
Besides the cold, I was very happy to be there and I was having a very good time with all the friends I have there and all the other people who are always very kind and interested in getting to know where I am from and what I am there to do. A few problems occurred during the next few days. I had taken pictures of the high school and the preparatory school and it crossed my mind that I should upload them to my computer. I didn’t do it. Aliez and me had had a few days before a very long and interesting discussion about all the factors involved in us making pictures of Ethiopian people. We agreed that it was a good option to let the kids make some pictures themselves so they show us the way they perceive their life. I trusted the kids for using my camera for a while but miraculously, one found the way to erase everything.
The other main problem was the fleas that literally raised an army to fight against me. They came by thousands and all crawled over my body and my clothes. So their first and only strategy was to try to drive me crazy and because a flea army is never big enough and a victim never crazy enough, they started to lay eggs everywhere. I began to go crazy for real. So I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love for them and surprisingly, they also had feelings towards me. So they all fell in love with me. They couldn’t stop loving me and without going into too many details, we slept together... I mean, I didn’t sleep a lot...
Happy moments – the boys and the crazy man
On Wednesday, as soon as I arrived in Debre Sina, I met the oldest of the three little brothers. The little guy with six fingers on one hand. He welcomed me with a long piece of sugarcane. He told me he had been alone for a while but that his mom and his two little brothers would be back in the village on Friday. I was very looking forward seeing Tadiko again – the middle one – whom I had not met yet on this trip.
On Saturday, I went out for lunch (there is no more kitchen and eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches too often is nutritious but not interesting – too smushy) and then for a coffee ceremony at the boys’ place. Tadiko was back! Then I don’t know what was the main attraction – whether the crazy man that was sitting at the door and saying a mass or the baby – named Ababi – that was making fun of the crazy man. This baby is the kind of baby you find funny – only if it’s not yours. The crazy man was laughing with himself. 1-0 crazy man. The baby tried to poke him with some small branches. 1-1. The crazy man cried and shed real tears. 2-1 crazy man. The baby tried to whip him with a branch. 2-2. The old man began to sing - making up words of different ‘religious’ songs. 3-2 crazy man. The baby began to clap his hands and to dance and everybody did the same. 3-3. The crazy man asked for a pitcher of water and blessed the water before drinking it all. It was a tight game but the crazy man finally won 4-3
Happy moments – updates on some people you don’t know
Another girl, Sebla, came by, after hearing that I was there – from another amazing demonstration of human telephone to take me to the newly built Youth Center where I also met Bizuwerk one of my former ESL students. She was rehearsing for a concert that was going to happen two days later. A kind of Ethiopian Idol, but much better and only for Debre Sina. I’m not kidding. Ethiopian Idol really sucks.
I also had the pleasure to bring the books at the high school – to present them to a group of teachers – and to meet some that I had got to know two years ago – mostly in my FLE classes.
I also had the occasion to be confused with the pair of twins that live close to the compound – a boy and a girl who were and still are very quiet kids. Over the years though, they got new second hand clothes and if it was easy to tell which was which two years ago because one was wearing pants and the other one dresses, this time I had absolutely no idea – since they both had the same style.
Happy moments – memories of ants
On Saturday, I went for a hike in the mountains with some kids. One of them wanted to warn me against the ants. So to show me how bad they are, she picked one and put it on her finger. In a fraction of a second, the ant had started to bite her. She was trying to remove it but it was stuck there. It went so fast that I didn’t have time to tell her that I had actually had an experience – being attacked by ants two years ago – they had subtlety climbed on me up to my neck and when I noticed them, they all bit at the same time... It did hurt like hell... I remember asking people to whip me with trees and then running down the road to go to the compound to poor some (freezing) water all over me... Thousands of people know about this embarrassing story. And I still remember seeing big pieces of skin falling off my legs as I was removing the ants.
What’s wrong with slapping my face and banging my head on the wall?
I finally got back to Addis on Sunday after a long bus ride. Because I didn’t have the cell phone, I couldn’t set the alarm at 5:30am – even before the roosters chant - time at which I was supposed to get up if I wanted to catch a fast bus – and take the tunnel to avoid the one hour detour in the forest and on the edge of many hundreds meter high cliffs. I had to switch bus in a city halfway. I got on another minibus – the kind that can fit 12 people sitting but that usually fill up with at least 20 people piled up one on another. I was sitting on the back seat in the most uncomfortable position ever – that I could only switch for another as uncomfortable position every five minutes. This ride last for about three hours – during which of course someone got sick – as another man was getting very high on chat – which is a legal drug – with effects similar to the ones of cocaine.
When I went to bed, I still had in mind the bugs that harassed me in Debre Sina – I was maybe focusing on them little too much. This is why – as a bug kept flying and buzzing close to my ears – which could drive everybody crazy – I started to slap myself in the face hoping I would eventually smash this evil creature. A little bit later, I was probably dreaming and having a very light sleep time – because I could hear some bugs again and one reflex I had was to move my head – which banged in the concrete wall that surrounds my bed. Rough night.
PART III – Oli in Wonderlands
A miniature talking donkey came to me and offered me something to drink. I was so surprised that I am not exactly sure what he gave me. It could have been orange neon soft drink called Mirinda that makes your stomach glow in the dark but you don’t know it because your stomach is inside your body. Maybe it was this Addis tea (knowing that ‘Addis’ means ‘new’, it doesn’t tell you a lot about the tea) or a delicious radioactive looking avocado juice. Maybe it was one of the two most popular beers – one has the same name than a bank ‘Dashen’ and it makes me wonder which came first – the beer or the bank? The other beer – which never tastes the same – has the name of the saint of Ethiopia – St-Georges. So I don’t know what kind of powers were involved, chemical, spiritual or simply magical, the only thing I know is that it made me shrink and then the donkey told me to follow him in a hole. Ethiopians say that sharing is caring - actually I heard it from one Ethiopian only but my guess is that he heard it from another Ethiopian so there are at least two people who say that - so maybe drinking is shrinking...
We walked for a while in a cave and the donkey stopped to give me an advice. He told me that I now had a magical toe. That it could go through the colors of the Ethiopian flag. In case you’ve never seen it, it’s Colombia + green or Brazil + red - white. Then he told me to be very careful – that my toe could be very helpful in many situations. I found out that when it’s red, it’s because I ran for too long. When it’s yellow, it’s because I had too much of this chemically colored drink called Mirinda – so I should stop drinking it for a while. When it’s blue, it’s because I’m cold or I’ve been walking on a cold floor for too long – or I just had a shower. When it’s green – it means that I should look for a toilet. It’s usually because I am getting sick for having eaten raw meat. And he made me make my friends promise that if they ever come to Ethiopia and go to the restaurant across the street after the sunset and they can’t really see what they are eating and they have a doubt that the meat is well cooked – they shall not eat it. In those cases, it’s not only your little toe that turns green, but you whole body. So, promise me that you won’t eat raw meat. The donkey didn’t mention anything about my toe turning black – which . I found out, means that it’s dirty or that it’s dead and about to fall off. Every time I washed it so far, it went back to its normal color.
We walked for I don’t know how long and we arrived in a small room that was probably used as a kitchen. There was a table with two chairs and a gas stove but no other food than bread and peanut butter. It was very dark and the donkey showed me two Band-Aids on the wall in the shape of a cross. He told me to put my hand on them – which I did and a blinding white light went on. Then the donkey got scared of something and told me to remove my hand. I asked him what was wrong and with tears in his eyes, he told me that he doesn’t have many people over and that since the last time it had happened, he had completely forgotten how funky the peanut butter looks like. It’s the same peanut butter he uses for peanut tea, peanut macchiato, with bread like jam or separately - 1 to 2 spoons recommended daily. So we ate in the dark and enjoyed the funky tasting (but not funky looking) peanut butter.
I wasn’t aware of the secondary effects of this funky brown stuff until I saw different characters that I associated to play cards walking in my direction and yelling at each other. I went under the table so they wouldn’t see me. As they were coming closer, I figured that they were speaking French and that they had just had a big revolution in their kingdom. The Dames getting educated and studying English learned that in an English card decks, they are called Queens – so they wanted to be called Reines in French. They had been in front of a judge who didn’t see any reason why they couldn’t be called Reines. So they changed the letter D for the letter R. So the Reines had the same letter than the Rois. At this point everybody was happy and no one anticipated that it would degenerate in a big fight after a game of Poker in which some players argued that the Reines could be Rois dressed as women and the Rois could be Reines dressed as men – that nowadays, this was something very possible and that some players were discriminating them. So they were all blaming each other for all the cheating that was going on.
The secondary effects of the peanut butter eventually stopped and the cards disappeared and the kitchen became quiet again. I had not noticed that the donkey had left the kitchen and he came back with a cake with 22 candles on it. I was confused because the day before, I was 28 but the donkey who had never traveled had only looked at my birthday in my passport and made the deduction that because Ethiopia is in 2003, I was turning 22 – which means that I could enjoy the second floor party for seven more years if I stay here but it might get creepy.
I blew the candles out all at once after making a wish. The donkey and I ate the cake and then I started to worry how I would get back home. He told me about Marie. He showed me in which direction I should go. I arrived in a very busy place with many people calling different names. I went to a first person and asked ‘Marie? and this person showed me where to go. I asked ‘Marie?’ again and the same thing happened. After a few times I found what I was looking for and found the entrance of the hole. I had wished getting back to my normal size after getting out of the hole – which happened and I got home to tell Aliez about my most recent adventures.
Oli in real life – Part I - Irrelevant information
Aliez says I’m shrinking. I might have lost a few pounds since I really slowed down on my consumption of beer. I probably have one every... two weeks... But the main reason why I might look smaller is that all the clothe washing is made by hand... I boil water, add detergent to it, let my clothes soak for a while, shake, shake, shake, rinse and... tear them to remove as much water as possible... I hope you didn’t forget that it’s kind of cold and rainy here so the ‘13 months of sunshine’ slogan is a lie. (I say that even though the last few days were actually quite hot and dry.) So tearing my clothes stretches them and also hanging for millions hours make them bigger...
I know I annoyed a lot of people with this story, but my toe really hurt – all summer long – and still hurts. Sometimes. I actually broke it at the beginning of the summer and later, just to make sure I wasn’t making it up, I stepped on it in a pool and heard it crack like I hear people here calling me You! or Farenji! or Mister! So when I wike too much or use my toes to keep my balance on a crowded bus, it does hurt. I also feel it while running in the gym. But what helps me is that the power often goes out so the treadmill goes off. And my toe thanks Ethiopia. People say that there is nothing to do – that broken toes get fixed by themselves – but not mine. It’s my forever broken left little toe.
I told you we had a problem with the lights in the house. They got fixed but something else happened. The kitchen light switch broke. So Aliez found a genius way to fix it – using two Band-Aids so it stays in the ON position. The thing is that Band-Aids are not very strong so it gives her about 15 seconds each time – to run and to do one thing but this quickly goes from funny to frustrating. She wanted to spread peanut butter on a rice cake. But to spread the peanut butter she asked me to come in the kitchen and hold the switch in ON position which I did and as if she saw for the first time, realized that the peanut butter didn’t only taste funky but also looked funky. It also is the fasting peanut butter – which is what some people use instead of milk on fasting days – every Wednesdays and Fridays.
And as I mentioned earlier, Addis can be a confusing city. But all you actually have to know is the names of the different neighbourhoods you want to go to. Megenagna is a major bus station where we always have to switch bus. On our way back home, because we live in the Marie neighbourhood, we have to find the bus that goes there and it is definitely not the easiest one to find.
Oli in real life – Part II – The birthday
In case you don’t already know, I spent my birthday alone in Ethiopia. I mean ‘alone’ because Aliez, the person that knows me the most here – and by super far – had to leave the country because of a problem with her visa. Still, it turned out to be memorable. So here is what I did. Breakfast, shower, bus, bus, walk around a very animated area, Alliance Éthio-Française to get the cultural calendar, lunch, bookstores, bus, bus, supermarket, home, burnt brigadeiros, movie and sleep. You might be wondering what made my birthday memorable... It’s kind of obvious... I just didn’t do anything that would make me forget what happened on this day... Not that this is what I did last year, but... well... Is it what I did last year? This and the wishes which I’m very thankful for!
PART IV
Oli back in Wonderlands or Why I smell like a girl...
A few nights ago, I couldn’t sleep and decided to go in the kitchen, to mix a little bit of everything we had to drink and to take it with me outside and to look for my friend donkey. He saw me first and from far because as I was walking and as the drink was getting mixed in the bottle, there were more and more small explosions and smoke coming out of it. I noticed that the donkey had a tag name with Donkey Xote written on it – like the cartoon. We shared the drink and as we were shrinking, the name tag changed and said Don Keychain.
We found a mini-fénix elevator and went down in the hole – 700 mini meter deep. We arrived in some empty tunnels and walked for a long time. The donkey wanted to show me something. He had read one of my previous blog entries and said I would get an answer to one of my questions. We arrived in a room that looked like a bedroom but the bed was so big that I would never be able to climb on it. Then the donkey left the room and closed the door. I didn’t know what to expect so I sat on the floor and waited.
I started to see some little black people but I wasn’t sure if they were real because one second they would be there and the next one I couldn’t see them anymore. Eventually, one appeared in front of me and I associated it to a vampire. The creature said that it was not a vampire but a bed-vampire. I asked the bed-vampire what it was doing for a living and it rolled its eyes before opening his mouth enough to show me its two teeth. Then I understood that those creatures had no other purpose in life than surviving – biting the people who slept in this bed. Actually, they didn’t look like they were surviving at all – they looked like they were very well fed – even too much.
I asked them to tell me more about their lifestyle. The most important thing is that they had evolved from having one big tooth in the center of their mouth to having two teeth – one on each side. They said that it was popular culture selection – the same idea than natural selection but different. That at first, the ones with two teeth appeared like having a defect but then – after the Twilight movies became popular, they became the most fashionable. They also ‘accidentally’ happened to double their efficiency. That because they had two teeth, they could make two holes and that it would double the itchiness and the scratchiness. And when you double the scratchiness, there is more chance for the human to bleed so the vampire-flies would like it and accept to work for the bed-vampires.
I was shocked by all those revelations. Wonderlands had so many secrets and I would have to go there often if I wanted to learn everything. I understood that there were subtle signs of existence of this world in the ‘real’ world. I remembered the short legged dog – that moved out a couple weeks ago that could have probably shown me the entrance of Wonderlands earlier. I remembered falling in holes a few times – which was probably more than just coincidences.
I asked them if I could experiment for a while what it was to be a bed-vampire. They said that they couldn’t turn me into a bed-vampire but that they could send me back to my normal life – with some of their characteristics. There would be good and bad sides and if I ever got discovered, I would stay like this forever. They gave me three days for my experiment. I agreed and I woke up the next morning in my bed – not sure if I had dreamt but what I knew for sure was that I had to get ready to go meet different people with Aliez.
We went to get a bus and as I was getting on, it felt easier than usual. Getting off was also easier than usual. There is a hill we have to climb to get the next bus and forgetting that some people could see me, I used the energy I was feeling in my legs to jump on the top of it. Aliez didn’t see me doing it – she only joined me on the top – a little confused – as I said that I had gone in front of her to buy some tissues.
I actually needed tissues as I had started to feel extremely sensitive to the sun. It made my eyes wet. And the only idea that came to my mind was to pretend to have a common cold so as I was blowing my nose, I could in a subtle way wipe my eyes with the tissue and block the light for a few seconds. Many people stared at me in a strange way as I always seemed to be crying. It was even worse when I looked at the people around me after having had my head in my hands for a few minutes. But I could still smile at them which made them even more confused. I was thankful not too many people tried to have a conversation with me or to ask me what was going on.
What could make me stop crying was when I saw other farenjis. I could obviously not bite them but I felt so much attraction for their blood that I forgot the sun. I could smell their blood and imagine its sweet taste. I had to control myself not to jump and appear right by their side with the mouth wide open. I would become too strange – some people would figure out what was going on and I would stay like this forever. So I began to try to avoid any eye contact with the numerous farenjis.
We arrived to Akaki where we animated some activities with some beneficiaries from different EDA programs. EDA is the organisation that Aliez is making an impact assessment for – as she is using some of their beneficiaries – mostly children, youth and women - to find out what impact the programs had on their capabilities. I helped her interviewing some people and writing down their answers – helped obviously by an interpreter – as I couldn’t stop crying but smiling to make sure that they were not thinking that I was crying because of what they were saying. I didn’t make them sure of anything except that I was weird.
Then some women served us some lunch and I couldn’t help not making double holes in the injera as if I was a bed-vampire and it was my victim. Aliez told me to stop playing with my food. I cried but not for real. Because of the sun.
We came back home as Aliez was mentioning having been bitten a few times during the day as she was looking for the lavender oil to spray around her bed to chase the... bed-vampires... that we mistakenly call fleas... Then I had to run away and find an excuse for opening all the windows... Lavender is probably what works best against those creatures... I kept crying – but for real this time. Nothing seemed different than usual – I was blowing my nose – wiping my eyes – getting desperate that I wouldn’t make it three days without being discovered.
Back in my room, I tried to sleep before I understood that this is at night that bed-vampires are most active. I didn’t know what to do so I listened to some music on my mp3 player. Only then I could get in a resting state as I was half awake – half sleeping and dreaming of what the songs were about. There were also some tales that I saw as if they were real. I was getting really confused about what was real and what was not. What kept me connected to reality was the growing mountain of used tissues beside my bed.
The second day went by so did the third one and the third night there was a song on my mp3 player about a tunnel and a donkey and a funky smoky glowing drink. I didn’t hear the end of the song. I guess I had changed position and I had lost the earphones or maybe the battery had died. I woke up with the sun in my eyes but they didn’t get wet. I saw the pile of used tissues as I felt that I had gotten bites on my hands. Double holes. Double itch. Double scratch. Double lavender oil spray on everything. I smell like a girl.
PART V – What went wrong? ...and continues? Or Life as a Bumpy Fantasy Road
Spontaneity is the spice of life
Ok... There might be one more entry after this one... So let me tell you the truth about life, the universe and everything... We can’t tell the future... I came here with an objective but no specific expectations... But even if I had no expectations, things were still different than what I was not expecting... So to stay positive, I looked at everything from a funny angle... even when it was not really funny... It is now too late in this trip and it would be too long to explain everything that was and was not achieved – I might make a summary of everything (including some more serious thoughts) in the last entry - so instead, I will share some of my fantasies with you! I hope that if you ever thought I had secrets or that I was mysterious, this will make you change your mind!
My very special skill
I recently discovered that I had the special skill of getting in people’s mind. It happened on a bus – where most of the exciting stuff takes place in this entry – as, as usual, many people kept staring at me. They also always smile at me when I have to stand with my neck bent because the roof is too low or when I lose my balance. I started to concentrate on what the passengers were thinking and I started to hear their thoughts as if they were expressing them out loud. They were all asking themselves if, being on a public bus, I was only visiting or I was out of money.
Then we went on a road where there were ‘street horses’ and something even stranger than the previous happened. Looking at the horses in the eyes, I could read their thoughts as I was scratching one of my numerous flea bites. They thought I was lucky to be able to scratch myself because the only thing they had thought of to get rid of their fleas and get a little relieved of their itchiness was to stand in the street so the wind produced by the cars would make them feel better.
Not easy to be an Idol
I secretly always wished to be an idol and I did become very famous here... People come to me to shake my hand and even though they don’t ask, I know that they secretly want pictures with me or that they would pay to have my phone number... The same thing happened to Aliez and a boy had the guts to ask her phone number and she gave it to him... This guy has been constantly calling on our phone nonstop for more than a week... We sometimes turn the phone off for a few hours and when we turn it back on we have something like sixty missed calls... This boy became scarily obsessed... but what can we do? All this because we were on TV... I can’t even describe how it was when I got to Debre Sina as almost every kid had seen me too... It felt great to be that famous... If you don’t know what I was doing on Ethiopian TV, you could go back to the first entry or you could read the following... In my first week here, I attended the filming of an Ethiopian Idol episode (I swear I didn’t know what it was going to be - it is as popular as BBB in Brasil... or hockey in Montreal)... And because the producers think that showing foreigners is good for the image of the show, they showed me and the people I was with... I don’t know how many times I appeared during the show, but I know that in the only few minutes of the only episode I ever watched, I saw the same sequence of the same white woman (probably also pretending to understand the show) very often...
My ticklish zone
I’ve never been especially ticklish... but one night, on a mini-bus on my way back home, I felt something on my right leg... I couldn’t see what it was because it was dark and the mini-bus was crowded as usual... but after some people got off and I could see what it was, I saw a little mouse going up and down my leg... actually, it wanted to go up but every time I moved my leg to show the mouse to Aliez, the cute little thing went down... The same thing went on a few times until a guy on the bus saw the mouse and got really scared and then everybody knew about it and my new little friend also got scared and went to its hole...
Policewoman
Many organizations here work on gender issues. Many of them work on empowering women. Still, there are women that got empowered too much. I was on my way to Debre Sina on a bus that seemed to be in good shape... The seats were fixed to the floor and the doors closed. Everything was going normally – the bumpy road, the loud music, the people jumping, the kids laughing, some people getting sick, the chickens panicking, people staring at me... everything was just being normal... Until there were problems with the bus transmission – which got fixed the first few times – but it could only get worse and it did.
We got on a new bus and a few minutes later, a policewoman came on to check if we had tickets but no one did even though we had paid... There had never been tickets before – it seems to be a new system they want the drivers to implement and this woman was taking it seriously... She had a long argument with the employees and I could say that the driver had good arguments... well... not really but still... she forced the driver do drive back to a city we had just passed – to get in the bus station – and to pay a fine... Finally, the 190km distance between Addis and Debre Sina took us about seven hours and I thought it could never be longer.
Intense nights in Debre Sina
The previous time I had been to Debre Sina, I had taken the books so I had no more room for my sleeping bag and I had forgotten my precious lavender oil. So I used the blankets that were there and literally got eaten alive by fleas. I am sure that if all the fleas went under the blanket and jumped at the same time, I could have levitated. I told myself that the next time I would take my sleeping bag and remove both the blankets and the mattress so the fleas would never notice me... and I could sleep peacefully without being attacked... The thing is that without a mattress, a bed is not comfortable (just try it if you don’t believe me) and during the day and on the bus, I had gotten many new bites so I was itchy all night as I couldn’t really sleep because of the cold and the hard surface... The day after, my back was sore and I couldn’t move normally... It was worth the try though!
Getting closer and closer
After getting up at 5am and waiting and fighting for two freezing hours to catch a bus back to Addis, I was picked among a crowd to have the last seat on one big bus – I was then given a ticket but asked to get off right away so the passengers could go get some food somewhere... Half an hour later, we left and we had to take the sketchy alternative road that goes in the forest and along high cliffs... I was wondering how such a big bus would manage to do it... It seemed to go fine – slowly but fine – until we got face to face with a truck in a very tight 180 degree curve... So we had to go backward for a while... No one looked too confident about it (actually, the other passengers kept smiling at my very sceptical face – because the shape of my head was going from an exclamation point to a question mark and back to an exclamation point every second...) but we made it...
The first time
I had in mind the seven hour long ride to Debre Sina so after we reached the top of the mountain, I was confident that this one would go faster... but a few minutes later, a tire exploded... The driver managed to stop safely and we had to get off so they would change the flat tire for the spare one. It is always in this kind of situation that the people get to talk more to each other. I already had the chance to talk to a few people – among which an Eritrean refugee who described me the life he was having in an Ethiopian refugee camp.
Whiskey shower
During the wheel was being changed, some passengers went to wander to see if there was something interesting they could get from the farmers. One man came back with a big bottle of whiskey. So when the wheel was finally changed, we continued our way on the bumpy road and if people don’t mind bouncing on their seats, bottles do. So the bottle broke and I got soaked with whiskey. It was about 8am and the smell was very strong. Some people sacrificed themselves to drink what was left in the bottom of the broken bottle – whiskey and pieces of glass.
Once is not enough
A few minutes later, another explosion... louder than the previous one... Our driver was actually driving quite fast which made everything and everyone more vulnerable. The same men, went to wander to find something to replace the whiskey and they found a hut where the people were making homemade hareke... which contains about 75% of alcohol... They wanted to make me try their culture (Ethiopians like using the word ‘culture’ when they want to make us try something so we’d feel bad not to do it...) so they offered me a bottle... I had tried this thing before and I just couldn’t take it... Still, they offered me a shot of it... It was the way to say good morning to my stomach and to wake up my liver as well... And to make the rest feel like it was burning or about to melt...
Eating each other's grass
As some people were working to change the wheel, there were farmers walking on the road with donkeys... They use donkeys to carry their stuff by the way... They obviously saw the bus and stopped to stare at us. Meanwhile, the kinky donkeys that were carrying grass – used for religious ceremonies – began to eat each other’s... grass... in a standing 69 position...They probably knew that they would be whipped very hard for having such an inappropriate behaviour in public and they were... So anyway, I arrived in Addis – I took a bus home - about ten hours after I had left the compound in Debre Sina... I sometimes wonder if Ethiopians are good at running because it can go faster than taking a bus...
Pink and soft or Rose scented and soft too
I got an Ethiopian cold lately and because I am such a perfect host for everything in Ethiopia, I had a running nose for much longer than a normal Canadian cold... Most of the people here can’t really afford buying tissues... I still got some because blowing my nose without tissues doesn’t inspire me. Toilet paper comes a little cheaper and it is called ‘Soft’ (after a brand) and we can choose the color so I got pink Soft. Once I bought some real tissues and instead of being pink, they were rose scented. They were soft too.
What really happened and how I really feel about it all
To be coming...
THE GREAT QUIZ
Send me your answers to the 13 questions by email of Facebook and the person with the most good answers will receive a gift!
1. Which of these activities can be done on Sundays?
a) Using the toilet
b) Taking a shower
c) Watching TV
d) Doing laundry / Washing dishes
2. Which food did I not get during my stay here?
a) Indian food
b) Chinese food
c) Lebanese food
d) Arabian food
3. What do I like the least with eating injera?
a) Eating with my hands
b) Eating from someone else’s hand
c) Everybody eating from the same plate
d) Training my right hand to do something
4. What do I definitely not want to bring back with me as a souvenir?
a) An Ethiopian baby
b) Shiro powder
c) The Little Prince in Amharic
d) A bracelet with the Ethiopian colors
5. What is usually not a result of a power shortage?
a) A cold shower turning into a freezing shower
b) An increased risk of falling in an open sewer
c) The TV going off
d) The gas stove not working anymore
6. Order the things that disturbed my sleep from the least annoying to the most annoying
1) Church singing
2) Dogs barking
3) Bugs flying around me
4) Itchy bug bites
a) 1234
b) 4321
c) 2143
d) 4132
7. Which song did I not hear the kids in Debre Sina singing?
a) Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
b) Wavin’ Flag by K’naan
c) Boom Boom Pow by The Black Eyed Peas
d) One Love by Bob Marley
8. What product can’t we get on the street in Addis?
a) Lottery tickets
b) French fries
c) Fresh orange juice
d) Peanuts
9. What didn’t happen when the police arrested two guys who wanted to take me to a student party?
a) The guys admitted that they actually wanted to rob me
b) The police asked the guys to sit on the ground and hit them a few times
c) I had to justify for a very long time why I didn’t have my passport on me
d) About fifteen people made a circle around us
10. What have I never been called on the street?
a) You
b) Farenji
c) Habesha
d) Mister
11. Which of these animals would I like to have as a pet the most?
a) A goat
b) A sheep
c) A donkey
d) A horse
12. Based on a true story, what happened to the Ethiopian woman’s kidney?
a) It was taken and sold by her husband to feed their kids
b) It was taken by the doctors without her consent so it would pay for her treatments in the hospital
c) It was gone when she returned from the Candy Mountain
d) It was given to a sick Canadian friend
13. Order those products that we can buy in supermarkets from the cheapest to the most expensive one.
1) A small box of Special K
2) A bag of five apples
3) A bottle of Ethiopian wine
4) A can of condensed milk
a) 1234
b) 2413
c) 4321
d) 3412
GOOD LUCK!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Cultural Shock
I'm officially back in Montreal - since 2 days now - but my friends say that my behavior is strange... I tell them that I just returned from Brasil...
Getting ready to go to the grocery store, my roomate asked me why I was putting my Havaianas on when the temperature was below 0...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and that I had forgotten how to tie up my shoes...
He asked me why I was walking in the ponds...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and that walking there involved walking on the beach - or in the water...
He also asked me why I was putting some sunblock on when it was not even sunny...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and that over there, we don't only get sunburns, but also moonburns...
At the grocery store, my roomate asked me why I was buying all those beans...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and that I had started to love them... (on rice)
Later at the bar, my friends asked me why I had ordered one beer and 4 glasses...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and that I was used to big beers... (the size that makes you unable to keep track of how much you drink...)
Watching the hockey game, he asked me why I was cheering for Brasil...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and that we could get killed if we did otherwise...
He asked me why I had ordered a glass of window cleaner...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and that the waiter didn't really know what cachaça was - so I asked the closest thing to it... (just kidding)
Leaving the bar, he asked me why I had said 'bisous' to the waitress...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and that the people there send kisses everytime they leave someone...
After the bar, he asked me why I didn't want to stop at Subway...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and that asking for a simple sandwich used to involve too much talking...
Then I showed him a 'grease' and he looked at me strangely saying that it was a store for second hand books...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and that this was what it was called there but in portuguese... cebo... for the grease that the previous readers had left on each page of each book...
Back home, he asked me why there wasn't any steam after I had taken a shower...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and that I had a new reflex taking cold showers...
Then he asked me who I was sending messages to when I could just call my friends...
I told him I had just returned from Brasil and there were people who were missing me a lot - so I had to do something for them...
Now, I ask myself why am I still writing in this blog?
I have just returned from Brasil... but I want the story to continue...
(Here is a suggestion if you don't think of any comment: AAAWWWWWW... :P )
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Total denial
I am not freezing...
I am not tired and I slept very well in the last two nights...
On Friday, I didn't send a message to all the people I wanted to see because I was not going to leave Brasil the next day... And I didn't mention that if they wanted, they could try to convince me that it was better for me not to go to bed for the whole night because I would be more tired than if I hadn't slept at all... Why would I have done that anyway if I didn't leave Brasil and if I am not sitting on the couch in my living room in Montreal...
Or maybe all this really happened but anyway, I missed my plane from Floripa to Rio... or if I didn't miss this one, I missed the one from Rio to Charlotte... of if I didn't miss this one, I missed the one from Charlotte to Philadelphia... or if I didn't miss this one, I probably missed the one from Philadelphia to Montreal... because according to the first paragraph, I would have been too tired anyway to catch all those flights - so I am not in Montreal...
I have not been freezing since I got off the plane in Charlotte... because there are so many reasons that I could have missed this flight for... First of all, when I went to Brasil, I missed my flight from Montreal to Philadelphia - and maybe it felt cool and I wanted to live this experience again... or maybe I have gone out on Friday and because of the message I had sent, my friends convinced me to stay awake (and keep drinking) before they took me to the bus station... but there I could have fallen asleep and missed the bus to Floripa... and from there, the taxi could have taken me to the wrong airport... (if there had been another airport - but how can we tell - maybe I never made it there...)
So I might not be freezing since I went to Charlotte because the security to go through the US is just too crazy... If I wasn't thinking like this, I wouldn't tell the whole story... I would totally deny it... I wouldn't say that even before checking in, I had to answer a full questionnaire... about what I was bringing with me... And I wouldn't mention doing a (shoes and belt and watch) strip tease to pass the metal detector... as my carry on was being body scanned too... I wouldn't continue saying that the boarding started more than an hour before the departure... and that there was another questionnaire - that I actually didn't really understand - I knew it was about my carry on - but I was already so tired that I only copied what the person before me had said to the security guard... and it actually worked... did you leave your bag unattended in front of someone who could have secretly hiden some drugs in it? I wish... just kidding... or is it denial? Whatever my answers were - good or bad - they still checked all the carry on bags... and then made us into different lines - so we would wait until some people complained about the heat - and until some other people answered them that we were still in Brasil... it was hot... how could I already be freezing?
And even if I had survived to this without saying anything stupid, I wouldn't have stood being in the last row of the section of the plane - the back of my seat on the wall - so I couldn't put it down - and I wouldn't have accepted to be that far from the TVs - since I had a hard time to keep my eyes open... and anyway, the first two movies were kind of the same lame story - a not normal guy in love with a (perfectly normal and beautiful) girl - but she doesn't share his feeling and he has to find a way to make it work... the second one was a bit better - the guy had the Asperger syndrom and he loved the universe... I think I would have loved it if only I had made it to this plane... and if I wouldn't have been sitting beside the toilet where all the people waiting in line kind of kick my arm and my leg that are too long so they float in the aisle... and if the girl in front of me hadn't had a huge head that was falling left and right before she woke up each time - I would have had to move in the opposite direction each time... to the left - to the right - everybody clap your hands - how annoying can you be - can you be that annoying - how annoying can you be - head to the left - head to the right...
After this plane, we had to collect our baggage to pass the boarder - the guy asked me if I had something like flowers, plants, animals, food, no, no, no, no... and alcohol? I said yes and he looked shocked... but maybe because my voice was going mute... he asked me to repeat what I had in my bag... and then a recheck-in... and another metal detector... Where could have I got some metal... as if I had stolen a part of the wing of the plane and hid it in my shirt... Oh my my...
_____
Besides all this superhero movie action - I made it to Charlotte to realize that Reais were not good anymore and that I was hungry - but anyway - and then to Philadelphia - where I continued reading "Em busca do SONHO" and then guess what? I was in Philadelphia! The guy sitting besides me asked me in portuguese if I was brasileiro - because oh! surprise! he was... so we talked about Brasil - and then he told me that because of what I was saying about it, he was starting to miss it too - he was going back to Boston to his University - and that it was not good... and finally, I arrived in Montreal - where - thanks to the canadian boarder people - it went super fast - the only question that I was asked was: Mr. Bourgault, qu'est-ce qu'on fait dans la vie...? On enseigne dans différentes écoles is the answer that pleased him - which allowed me to enter in Canada with all the illegal stuff that I'm bringing - like a can of cachaça, a bottle of cachaça, some erva mate for terere and for chimarao, some other gifts and a napkin with weird messages on it... I should really hide...
_____
My last day in Brasil was just perfect - I obviously didn't meet All the people that I would have liked to meet but all the ones that I met there had brought some very special things to my stay in Camboriu! It wasn't sad though - there are people that I meet - to whom I say goodbye - they stay alive in my mind - and if I wish to see them again - I make it happen... there are people that I had never met before that I met in Camboriu and I just know that I will meet them again - in Canada, Brasil or anywhere else... So "Bye for now" to you or a simple "Au revoir" and MERCI pour tout!
_____
RANDOM
Here are some english songs that "might" remind me my time in Brasil (are there others that kept playing over and over again?)
Rebelution - Bright Side of Life
Lady Gaga -Bad Romance (actually, I'm not sure if it played that often or if it was just stucked in my head...)
Lady Gaga - Paparazzi (see the comment above)
David Guetta - When love takes over (sorry to say that I find nothing interesting in this song)
David Guetta - Sexy Bitch (it was just playing everywhere - 'great' lyrics!)
Jason Mraz - Lucky (on the radio)
Bob Marley - Redemption Song (I would have liked to hear this one more often - instead of Lady Gaga)
Edward Maya - Stereo love (from the small white car with the windows open - that was just always passing beside me)
Here are the ones that played the most often on my mp3 player... when I was looking for calm...
Jack Johnson (Breakdown)
Ben Harper (Younger than Today)
Daniel Bélanger (Soleil Gratuit - Étreintes)
Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova (Once soundtrack)
Grand Corps Malade (Je dors sur mes deux oreilles)
Muse (any song)
Richard Desjardins (Les Yankees)
Rodrigo y Gabriela (any song)
Yann Tiersen (any song)
_____
I'll probably upload some pictures on Facebook in the next days - and if you want me to send you some of them in their original size, let me know! For now, I really need to sleep - I had two nights in a row without any sleep... Thanks for reading!
NEXT BLOG: oligoes(back)tobrasil.blogspot.com :)
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