Here I am somewhere in the center of Rome trying to put my (real) thoughts together about this second trip to Ethiopia – even though I just can’t be totally transparent and my thoughts can never be complete.

I love writing because it is influenced by all kind of factors that only happen at one place at one time. So it’s a rainy evening in Rome – leaves are falling from the trees – it is not cold, not warm either – it smells like autumn. I’m sitting in a church because it’s all my budget allows me.

It’s also apparently the low season for tourism but there are still enough people walking with maps of the city that I don’t have to use mine, I only look at where they have their finger to find my way.

I almost don’t need my camera since everybody is making the exact same pictures. We can’t really be creative with that many people around – so let’s wait in line to reproduce the postcards. This place has so much history though – we can see it wherever we look - even Italians have their travel guide.

So it’s been about a week since I left Ethiopia – with, for the second time, mixed feelings. I love this place – I could love it more – and I would like to spend more time there and to be able to feel completely myself.

Still, as much as I would like to be resistant to everything, I’m not and for the second time, I’d say that Ethiopia won the battle over my body. The cold, the pollution combined to the altitude, the fleas, the food that sometimes was rejected by my body are just a few factors that affected my body and eventually my mind – knowing that both are closely connected. Despite all the potential discomforts, as a foreigner, I had the opportunity to leave if anything went wrong or not as expected. I did change my departure date.

This second time in Ethiopia was very different than the first one. The whole purpose of my presence was different. The focus was different. Overall, it was less emotional but also less frustrating – on many levels. The notion of time was different since there was no defined beginning, middle and end to this stay.

I enjoyed not being constantly supervised and not having people responsible for everything I was doing. I enjoyed feeling free to introduce myself ‘myself’ to other people, to discover this country and this culture in my own way – at my own speed as if for the first time.

Once again though, it was hard to be completely myself as I was trying to be the most culturally sensitive possible. I mean, it’s hard to be the person that some of my friends believe is a good candidate for going to Ethiopia and doing something good. I did observe, listen and adapt to what people saw in me and expected from me. Doing so, there are parts of what I am that I couldn’t express – which is partly caused by the language barrier.

Trying to be culturally sensitive is a very relative task. It’s actually a concept that differs from people to people even though we are all confident that we do it right. To me, answering in the language that the other person used first sounds normal. But to do it better, I sincerely wish I worked more on my Amharic.

When I felt good, I enjoyed listening to this language and guessing what the people were discussing about. When I felt good, the generally loud music on the bus improved my mood and I also often happened to crave for Ethiopian food. I also enjoyed meeting and talking to anyone on the street even the people begging for money. When I wasn’t feeling so good, even though I wish it was different, all those things could potentially bother me. Some days, I felt like I belonged and felt devoted to the poor part of the population and others I could ignore them. I don’t know if I really was culturally sensitive.

There are tons of good things going on in this country as there are also tons of things that would need improvement. I strangely became used to see some horrible things – but isn’t it sometimes the only way to deal with a situation that is not ours? That is not under our power? Still, on this trip, I chose to write a blog that wouldn’t make anyone cry – that would make people see Ethiopia as a place that one can enjoy – this blog was different than the one for the previous trip that turned out to be all negative and depressing... to be forgotten...

I love the Ethiopian people and its culture. What I like the most, as a foreigner, is all the information that is exchanged in the simplest eye contact with someone. Ethiopians are generally calm, warm, welcoming and respectful with foreigners. They also very rarely ask about my profession and/or my studies to define who I am. I guess that they take for granted that as a foreigner, I did have a good education and/or I have a good job and I am wealthy. I choose to like it and to see it as if they looked deeper to see my real identity.

Each contact with each person almost always includes a smile. I choose to see so much humility, goodness, resilience and pride in each person that it makes it very easy to smile back and to really mean it. They make fun of many situations that usually make many people I know (including me) lose patience. Being on a bus and stuck in the traffic is nothing but an opportunity to start a conversation with another passenger or with another driver.

The library project didn’t go as expected but it is certainly still alive. I didn’t get all the help I needed and I didn’t meet with all the people I wanted but I definitely got some updated information about the whole situation of the four schools that are now involved in the project. I am also deeply convinced that this project, when realised, will make a positive difference in many people’s life. I just have to keep working on it with my colleagues.

I will let Bob Geldof finish this entry for me: Ethiopia is a country like the continent of Africa itself, in an historic flux... A crossroads between the past and the future. Its old insurmountable problems of climate, geography and politics remain, but in the 20 years since the world first took notice of this beautiful country and its terrible plights, some things may look the same but have, in fact, vastly improved. For me, Africa isn’t a poor continent. It is vastly wealthy with its natural resources and creativity and it will be this that is the spur to their wealth and development and with that wealth they can produce their own education and health. And that, in turn will allow them to compete equally on the world stage – which is where a country as romantic and timeless and beautiful as Ethiopia deserves to be, and where we need it. I love this magnificent country and I wish I could be there in 50 years to see its exceptional people healthy and laughing, and free to live the life they deserve – on this luminous continent.